| Feeling Defeated at Mealtime? |
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| Written by Angelle Batten, MEd, HHC |
 Great advice to compartmentalize packing lunches, Sue. So much of this REAL food journey is about mindset. Changing our mindset can change everything - for the better or the worse. I've done both over the years.I find as a Holistic Health Coach, a lot of moms are battling with their kids at mealtime. Kids don't want to eat what is served or they don't want to eat at all. There is arguing, whining and yelling as well as negotiating and bribing going on daily. Moms are exhausted by this. They want to feed their families REAL food but don't have the energy to pull it off on a daily basis. (Sound familiar?) I received an email from a mom about this very issue just this week. She felt so defeated. It was more than I could fully address in one email or coaching session, but here were my initial suggestions to her in an email: "One thing is you have to find the strength to be in charge when it comes to certain aspects of meal time. Make one meal - don't ask kids for so much input on a daily basis - and put it on the table at a certain time. Let kids know that's what is for dinner and they'll have the opportunity to eat again at whatever time you say. Put out a few choices in the meal when it comes to veggies. Stay calm even when they test you - it's their job to test your boundaries - "Is mom serious about this?" It's an emotional safety issue for them - they ultimately want you to set boundaries. Play some nice music. Light a candle. Change up the atmosphere. Try 2 Roses and a Thorn - go around the table and have everyone share two great things about their day and one thing that bothered them. Take the focus off the struggle. Get to know each other better. Laugh together. You can ask your family to sit down with you - outside of meal time - and make a list of some of their favorite REAL Foods. Tell them you will include these as much as possible and tell them ahead of time the new routine. I would consider implementing the 2-bite rule - 2 bites of everything into your tummy each meal time. Talk to them about how you are all going to be Adventurous Eaters and even though Mommy and Daddy don't like a lot of foods you are both going to try new things too. Be calm and consistent." The very next day I received a much more upbeat email from this mom that read: "I just wanted to share how tonight went. With what turned out to actually be minimal effort, I put a mostly organic meal on the table tonight at 6:30 - homemade chicken tenders (my son dredged the entire batch and put it in the pan all on his own!!), fresh local sweet corn, grapes, raw carrot sticks and quinoa with peas (which was kinda gross and now I need to do something else with it - soup?). We set the table and were mostly together in the kitchen while the food was prepared. We talked about the two-bite rule and other changes we are going to make (official start monday). We couldn't wait for my husband tonight because he was meeting us at curriculum night at 7 (we fixed a leftover plate for him, with quinoa which he would never take on his own). 6 year-old said she wasn't hungry and ended up just having a half ear of corn. Her friend was over (long story, not the norm) and she sat quietly with us but was definitely distracting. 10 year-old insisted on making her own spag noodles (I did pour the hot noodles in colander but she did everything else) and tried a bite of the quinoa. She tried a bite!! She didn't try the chicken but she WILL eat Wendy's chicken nuggets and restaurant style chicken tenders. My son (8) ate chicken and corn, and additionally was very helpful in the prep and clean-up of the meal. I was TOTALLY amazed at how easy it seemed to just start the conversation and increase my own effort. The kids seemed to like it even though they protested." I was thrilled for her. You need to celebrate small successes and build on them. You need to dig deep some days to find the energy to prepare a REAL food meal with your child or to pack a REAL food lunch. It's so much about mindset. Our children need us to be the parent, setting expectations and sticking too them even when it's not easy. Sometimes our spouses need that too when it comes to mealtime. We teach the people we live with how to treat us so teach 'your people' to treat you with gratitude and respect as you work hard to plan and prepare REAL food meals for them. Peace, Angelle |