Last week I posted on Facebook that Lucas, one of my 10-year old sons, came home from school with a blue mouth on Valentine’s Day. Not a red mouth. A blue mouth.
I didn’t tell him the evidence of his party choices were, well, evident. I did ask him how he did with his choices at the party today.
He looked at me, looked away and replied, “Well okay. I didn’t put a bunch of toppings on my ice cream. But I kind of ate too much of the candy from my Valentine’s Day Cards.”
I had to smile. He still didn’t know that I could see that. He did follow the plan (I’m choosing to believe) that we’d talked about before school. To enjoy the ice cream but not load it up with all the artificially colored sprinkles and doo dads that would be there. I actually hadn’t thought to talk to him about the candy from the other kids. I also didn’t approach his teacher this year about doing a ‘Naturally’ Red Valentine’s party like I’ve done in the past (and a lot of other moms posted on our Facebook page that they did this year, including Dr. Sue!) so I didn’t feel I could complain much about what was being served at the party. I certainly would have appreciated the teacher putting a one or two piece limit on candy that could be eaten at school but that wasn’t what happened.
I talked to Lucas a little bit about it and then I let it go. More than one mom has commented to me about how hard it is to let it go. When you know how bad these fake food ingredients are for your child, it is hard to just let it go, isn’t it?
Sometimes I do that well with my kids and other times not so much. It’s tricky. Sometimes I feel like I’m overreacting when my kids end up eating fake foods especially when I’m looking at how much fake food many children eat on a daily basis. Then on the other hand I know it’s a slippery slope to not set any boundaries around it. The more fake food kids have, the easier it is for them to become more and more accepting of it – like it’s ‘normal’ to eat it every day. Taste buds become more and more accustomed to it as well.
The way I see it – my bottom line – is that setting boundaries around fake food is a parenting issue. It’s a health and safety issue. I wish it weren’t (would make my life a whole lot easier that’s for sure!) but since our kids are bombarded with fake foods today – and we’re talking much more dangerous ingredients than when we were growing up – this has to be a parenting issue. We have to set boundaries. We have to be the parent who does our best to keep our child safe and healthy.
People ask me if I think my kids will grow up and rebel because I limited how much fake food they could have as children. I don’t know. I hope not but that doesn’t negate my responsibility to them now. People ask if I think my kids will have food issues or eating disorders. I’ve known plenty of people with eating issues that did not have parents who limited their junk food – they grew up eating whatever they wanted. And how is it different than telling your teen, “No, you absolutely cannot smoke (or drink alcohol) no matter what people around you are doing.” Does that make you worry that your teen will want to smoke or drink or will have issues around smoking and drinking? And even if it does do you not set those boundaries because you’re worried about it?
The thing that I do know for sure is that my children’s bodies are being built at a cellular level by what goes into them. The foods they eat now will have an impact not only them but also their children.
So, sometimes I let it go with my kids when they get off track and sometimes I don’t. We talk about it – maybe too much some days. I acknowledge their feelings about how it stinks or how hard it is sometimes to eat REAL food all the time when their friends aren’t. I set boundaries around fake foods even when they don’t like it. It’s all a part of parenting.
I hope you’ll reflect on what’s working for you when it comes to your child and fake food. Consider that you may need to loosen up some for your child’s sake. And, consider that you might need to put some boundaries in place if you haven’t. There’s no one right way to do it and every child is different. Just know that your child needs your guidance and limits when it comes to navigating this fake food world he’s growing up in. Blue tongues should be a rare occasion, not an every day occurrence.
Angelle
~Your Personal How To Holistic Health & Parenting Coach
